Friday, March 13, 2020

Outside



Tropical rainbow fish mandala
Adorns the fine feathers the hummingbird Laps the sweet nectar i so long to sample
To void my pallet of these bitter memories and experiences.
I long to congregate with the flowers the purpose of pollen wings beating a thousand helicopter
Flits and flutters
The purpose it serves; supplemented by bats and bees
To provide pollination and  render life from its sterile state. To join the symphony of nature
Like the bow of Anne Sophie Mutter
Concordance with purpose and preservation of life
But all I i feel is tuneless taughtness of over tightened strings
Wires made to dance, wires that wail and squeak
The simple tongue bow
Meets no nectar when I play the field of flowers welcomes not the caress of the destroyer
For that is how nature lauds us
Those who trample and picas opposed to propagate
Lonely in a field of vibrant hues
But seen as a chocking weed.
Nature sees only our destruction and grey, wingless forms
Trusted once to Icarus
Scorching where we tread
Detached and barren
Urban sprawl
Unable to stop and smell the redolent roses, tender tulips and wildflowers that dare show only moments before concealing from the hikers intrusive boot
Humanity has fallen to the point
That we no longer belong. The separation bleeds out in loneliness trapped in an incomprehensible-world
Unwelcome though we intrude
For sanity’s sake
But never can the nectar and rainbows be truly savoured
As we are lashed to a profoundly sick society and have adapted ourselves accordingly
In a sterile living and destructive death.
This is the plight of humanity.



Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Anxiety


Voices of doubt,
Voices
Of doubt
Like a wind that yields the limb
To its point of fracture
The screaming tree, holding on, holding on
Fly and flow with fever and fear
Leaves long lost
To torrential wind’s breath
Tumultuous tearing, the ripping talons
Of the angry concrete skies
Roots moan and creak, solidified
In the soggy earth
Made moist with tears of passing clouds
My head is a cannon, firing back and forth
My mind, my mind, my mind battles
Bludgeoning hope with each windy lash unleashed
This is the face of my anxiety
The two voices in terse opposition
Tearing me apart
My breath counteracts the wind
I breathe, manipulating the wind that seeks to destroy
Like a wild animal, snared; willing to chew off its own limb
Hobbled but free from this hell
Flow like the limb; yield but never shall I break

Friday, December 13, 2019

Fret


Fret

Internal, infernal revolution
That plays out in my thoughts
Consumes my head
Unsettled flesh and bones
In my own body
Blue blood oxygenated
Spilling red, red, red
When self becomes one’s own oppressor
When self and ego don’t play fair
Undertow, colossal tsunami of emotions


Breathe, breathe, feel the belly rising
Bloat me like I’ve consumed too much bread
A carbohydrate exhaustion
Makes my mind dark, limbs like lead, lead, lead

I need a little pick me up
A break from winter’s cold
I need to accept that I’m growing old, old, old

Stutter, shake, collapse and sleep now
Wake up in the morning
Feel the same
Like a lottery where your ticket’s never winning
The borderline between the sane and insane, insane, insane

I just want a moment of normal
Whatever normal may be
Or is such a state sustainable
Just need to be happy to be me, me, me
That’s the only way I can ever be free, free, free

Unshackle thoughts, beliefs and assumptions
Clear the shit straight out of my head
I seek the clear and pleasant waters
A place devoid of unfounded fear and dread, dread, dread

I know I know I’m not my thoughts I’m thinking
Always without ever a reprieve
Go to hell ego voice and demons
Break the shackles self-imposed and be, be, be


Edmonton, AB, Canada




Friday, November 29, 2019

Forever we have Arrived


Forever we have Arrived


How did we arrive at this moment?
The linear and spirals of time
From the origins of all;
The matter of which we are comprised? The same energy that has existed
Since time immemorial and the infinite future that
Will shape and shift itself forever
Making us infinite-immortal
All leading to this moment;
The energy that is I that is you that is all

Manifest in the wave that will rise, crest and
Disperse; ocean never-ending
Shape shift
Be the now
Of all placement
We are here
Knowing that all is altering;

Namah Shivaya
Impermanence of a mandala
The grains of sand comprise, compose, wash away
Perhaps never to resemble this particular self-shape again
The wonder of it all; the beauty ever present
The biodiversity and congregation of elements
Spiced with spirit and consciousness

To be as not is nothing and nothing
Implies no-thing; impossible or just impossible to comprehend?
Therein lies the immortality of matter, the impermanence of form
The continuum of time
Our ancestors, our energy, our food our elements
Intertwining double helix
Shape and evolve
Eternal and we are a pies of universal mosaic…
How can we not be mesmerized by this moment
In which we have become?

For we are and we are now
The physical flesh vehicle of our lives altering with each passing moment-
A compilation of all we consume into the new and undiscovered at any other moment
The majesty of it all;

But life and death are fictions
Made to make sense of our world;
But this sense making limits our capacity seriously inhibits our ability
To accept and be accepted
For being is all we do and all we are
A part of the whole, the source….

Be present at every point
Breathe, explore
Love and compassion
Free from the yoke of materialism
Resist conformity
Paradigm ever shifting and carry us within its currents
Into what will be.

Forever we have arrived.

Edmonton, AB, Canada



Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Born in the Darkness of Morning


Morning darkness, 7 am,
The room light echoes
Window pane
Reflection like a portrait glossy
Photoshop, the things within
A mirror to the work that must be done
Combed beard and hair,
Sat in my chair, dressed myself
Clean underwear
Made my bed this morning
Rise and shine and set to seize the day
The catalyst and what persists
Drags you down then lifts you up
The see-saw teeter totter up and down
Down
Down
Down
You feel the bump
The bended knee
The glory and the misery
Stationary
Yin yang yo-yo existence
With persistence never-ending
Pump the legs and wait for the sun to rise
To see outside
Outside, outside
Pump the legs, accelerate
Rise up
Up
Up
up
No mater the flow, the ups and down
I’m sat here movement myth but real
Made so only
By time that passes slow,
Slow, slow
The pain I feel, the hope unreal, take a piss and break the seal
Flowing water etch into the sand
The wind in trees
skinned knees
bumps, bruises, broken soul
Congeal with hopes of being solid again
The shine I seek comes from the east
Delayed by winter’s lagging light
Waiting, waiting for the dawn
To this very long and cold and bitter night
Playground heart and carefree
Sun’s solace, warm me, wake me up
A mammal in this medium just wants to sleep
Morning darkness, 7:15 am,
The room light echoes
Window pane
Reflection like a portrait glossy
Photoshop smiles, the things within
A mirror to the work that must be done
Combed beard and hair,
Sat in my chair, dressed myself
Clean underwear
Made my bed this morning
Rise and shine and set to seize the day
The coffee strong
Wake from a night so long
With persistence and with fortitude
Take me to the park so I can play again
With innocence.

Edmonton, AB, Canada


Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Woke Up Well


Woke Up Well


Woke this morning, a difference
Things seemed finally copacetic
Redolent of days where fears where real
Shed skin, the anxiety that’s plagued me
To my marrowed bones
For once I slept soundly through the night

Shifts and curves
Frazzled nerves
The inexplicable ego voice
Saboteurs get what they deserve
The woods are thicket deep
The thoughts still creep
A catalyst, conundrum, crazy
The lambs been skinned and nailed upon the door
Sacrifices made, the darkened days

Winter and its fake frigid purity
Blankets white, melts, morphs, slushy grey
Carry Spring within me
The promise of new life, new birth;

Resurrecting Lazarus from the sand
I lay low, deep down buried there
The desert, Ozymandias, crumble, broken
Cement the grains of sand back into stone
I wait for time and healing
To free me from the feeling that
This world has become a lot more than it seems

Perception, my Achilles heel,
Mind plays tricks with their appeals
The real is never really what it seems
How I see me, how you see me, loses our identity
But with nothing, contradiction,
Freedom becomes untethered fate
Liberty from our thoughts and demons greasy sulfur talon clutch
A new day rising, phoenix taking flight
Icarus wings, pray that I’m not burned
And singed, to ashes fall
The mix of carbon with the sifts of sand

A brand new day, another way, to act out, my role in this play
Fire the narrator, begin on a fresh page, the rage, despair, dissipates
A good night’s sleep, the myth we seek
To tell the story we need told

Tranquility to soothe the soul
Rapid thoughts and worries, not today
Each moment is a moment new
A new beginning, seek what’s true
Dispel that narrative that’s been on re-run way too long

Another chapter begins today, shatter anxiety, dismay
The sun will rise late, but I won’t fall waiting for its radiant rays

Woke this morning, a difference
Things seemed finally copacetic
Redolent of days where fears where real
Shed skin, the anxiety that’s plagued me
To my marrowed bones
A fleeting freedom that I feel
A sensation I forgot was real
Thankful for this moment of solace,
I’m finally at peace.

Edmonton, AB, Canada







Friday, November 15, 2019

Wish Upon the Stars


Wish Upon the Stars


Eyes scan sky of star and moons
Each flame ringed in haze
My thoughts are of other times
Those better days

One feels so insignificant
Standing, staring here
Look at lights shone long ago
Traveling millions of years

Reflecting on the time we’ve spent
Both good and wasted days
But know now that we’re a part of this
Despite our unnatural ways

Sure, staring up into the source
The universe is ours
It belongs to us we belong to it
The rocks, trees and flowers

Oceans are our heartbeat
The rivers are our veins
And never could we have known love and joy
Without the cruel contrast of pain

But the scorch of pain blinds our view
Obscures what we know
Digging deep for joy and love
Is the only way we grow
Blinded by the burning sun
Contrast, soft full moon glow

Digging deep for faith and hope
Is the only way we grow
Eyes scan sky of star and moons
Each flame ringed in haze

My thoughts are of other times
Those better days
I know that forever only holds

One thing and that is change
Haze gives way to heavier clouds
Down comes the rain
Holy water wash my soul
Sweep away my sins
Immerse me in your nature now
Needing soil on my skin
But don’t bury my like Ozymandias
Each moment, a new begin
The sun will shine on closed doors
Until we allow it to open and flood in.

Edmonton, AB, Canada