Panic Attack

That feral feeling

Bones brutally brought through flesh by mind

The buzz and shudder of anxiety

All-consuming,

Invisible to those in proximity

Self-sabotage;

The beast is the burden

Talons sting offer no deflection

The thoughts still there; imploding/exploding

As yin and yang

Minus the balance

Containment and blunting

Not enough to stop

The sear of dread

My head takes over

As if possessed…

Why does trauma persist

Long after the danger is past?

Betrayed by body, the myth that we are programmed

To survive

Fear that the hand reaching out pushes away instead

The cure and causes intertwine

And dance like two venomous

Serpents fucking

Fangs slash, the poison floods my vision

And the constricting coils offer an irony of relief

While suffocating;

The degrees of pressure between strangulation and a hug

So minimal

And feeling like nothing but feeling so vehemently

Another of the bodies contradictions.

Breathe. Breath shallow,

Belly balloons but amygdala resists

The feelings persists

The feelings persists

And I must resist

The feelings that persist.